Recently I was talking to a family member about her love interest. She described a guy in his late forties (her age as well) who expressed an interest in her but shared that he wasn’t the settling kind. It was highly noticeable that she was smitten with him but she asserted, “I’m all set with him. He doesn’t want a relationship and I’m not one of those stupid girls he can play.”
Our exchange got me thinking, “Do some women really think only stupid girls get played?”
Being played doesn’t happen because a woman is stupid. Being played happens when a woman exposes herself emotionally to a man who doesn’t have good intentions. It can happen to anyone and unfortunately it often happens when women can’t recognize their emotional brokenness and fragility.
The most amateur players can identify a woman who is broken and once the cause of that brokenness is exposed (i.e. loneliness, low self-esteem, insecurities regarding appearance, divorce, etc.) that is when the game begins. The goal is for that man to be your object of affection; for you to keep him on your mind. Men do this by showing an interest in you and expressing affection (even on the most mediocre levels). For example, if a man knows you’re lonely he might text you every night at the same time just to say, “Have a good night.” This kind gesture costs nothing. It’s a sweet sentiment that says, “I’m thinking about you” but it also doesn’t reek of commitment. Even if a man told you he didn’t want a relationship but consistently expressed this sort of kind gesture your thought might be, “He likes me and thinks of me often.” A thoughtful action that simple can spark the beginning of being wooed by a player who you already know doesn’t want you.
So, if you want to protect yourself from players, work on bringing yourself to a holistic place where you move past your insecurities and find joy in your single status. Try your best to transition to a place where you are not broken because, if exposed, all women can get played.
Can you drink to that?