I find myself attracted to men with power. And I usually get them because I have the looks to do so. The men I date need to have a good job, money in the bank, a home and the financial ability to wine and dine me. I’m not talking about paying for dinner. I’m talking about everything (trips, shopping sprees, gifts, spa treatments… EVERYTHING). Now, while this is my standard, my girlfriends think I’m a gold digger. I’m a good person and I don’t mean to throw scrubs to the side but there is really NOTHING they can do for me because I am trying to marry a man with money. Do you think I’m a gold digger?
-Guessing about Gold digging
Well, first off, what I think about you really isn’t that important. What matters is what YOU think about yourself. If you think you’re a gold digger, then Honey, that’s what you are. If you think you just have high standards, then… okay.
Now, while I respect you having standards you might want to reevaluate your criteria and revisit your values. Why? Let me break it down…
First off, this mentality of wanting a man with money is often masked with terms like “I just want someone who has it together” or “I just want more for myself”. Let’s be real. If you truly want more than what you already have then you would get YOURSELF together and provide for YOURSELF to the level that you desire.
Personally, I think it is absurd to have all of these requirements for a man when you don’t have them for yourself. If you want a rich man, go get some of your own money. If you want him to be educated, get your degree. If you want him to own a home, take advantage of Obama’s homebuying program. C’mon! While I don’t know your stats, the likelihood of you having the aforementioned in order and STILL having these requirements is slim to none.
Secondly, many women who want this lifestyle don’t realize the chips they are forfeiting to play in this game. If you aren’t willing to work for yourself and handle your own business, the person you are with will ALWAYS have an unhealthy amount of control over you. For example, if he doesn’t want to hand over his credit card, you ain’t going shopping. If you get on his nerves, don’t think your “cookies” are going to confirm your trip to the spa because a man with money can get “cookies” anywhere. Don’t believe me, ask Elin Woods.
The bottom line is gold diggers won’t always get glass slippers. Relationships are work. You might be pretty enough to land a man with money. But while looks can land a man, it can’t keep him faithful or respectful. Honestly, you are throwing out the respect card when you come to him on this “you have to have money” nonsense anyway. Basically, if this is the road you are going down, know that you might be forfeiting your happiness because you are digging for money NOT love. If that is really what you want for yourself then so be it.
Good luck with that.
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