One of the reasons why I started this blog was to increase the dialogue between men and women around love and relationships. I hear, more often than not, my single female friends talking about how hard it is to find a good man and many of my single male friends say the same thing about finding a good woman. Dialogue around this topic often resorts to “there aren’t any good men/women out there” or “men/women ain’t s#%@.” While I recognize that the pickings are slim, I’m starting to wonder if a person not being able to find a good match is more about them than “the pickings”.

This past week I saw a snippet of the docu-drama, “Diary of a Tired Black Man” – if you haven’t seen it, I suggest you do so. The clip below is about the choices women make but I think it can apply to men as well.  After seeing this I wondered if we begin to assume there aren’t any good men/women out there because we keep choosing bad apples for ourselves?

While this video focuses on choices, I wanted to take this a step further by questioning the affect of this mindset which suggests there aren’t any good men/women or men/women ain’t s#%@. If we tell ourselves there aren’t any good men/women out there, how can we expect to find a match?  Why would a person diligently look for something they believe doesn’t exist? Doesn’t this perspective negatively affect the search for “the one”?

Think on it and let me know if you can drink to that?

-The Bartender