“I don’t mind waiting
As long as there’s still maybe
A possibility, for you to be true to me”
- Killing Time by Destiny’s Child
It is a dating taboo to “wait” for someone and rightfully so in most instances (i.e. if the person is married, in jail, or just not that into you). However, the idea of waiting must be realistically considered in today’s dating environment. Long gone are the days when you marry your first love and share the story of your long romance with your grandkids at your 50th wedding anniversary. Now, many people have been around the block a time or two before they decide that they want to be with someone for the rest of their lives. Are you willing to wait for someone you love to commit?
I believe that every relationship is unique and that the individuals involved must do what’s best for their situation, regardless of what others think. For that reason, I am not a stickler for “dating rules” however, I do believe it is important to have some standards and expectations. While killing time waiting for the one you love (as well as being someone worthy of the wait), here are some best practices you may want to consider:
- Don’t make someone a priority when you are only their option. I hate clichés but hey, if you can’t beat them, join them and I couldn’t have said it better. Don’t sit at home & pine over someone who is out entertaining other relationships. For whatever reason you decide to “wait” for someone, it should be mutually agreed upon with some give & take by both parties. You can always leave an open door and space in your heart for someone without being faithful to a relationship that doesn’t exist.
- Don’t burn bridges. (I am full of clichés today, #nobeuno…) If you know that you are still open to dating someone in the future, don’t do anything that will totally damage the relationship in the present. You should probably avoid common recklessness such as cheating, slashing tires, sleeping w/friends of exes and things of that nature. Even if someone really loves you, you tend to lose points for being crazy & trifling.
- Ultimatums should be a last resort. If you have the slightest inkling that you are willing to give the one you love some time before he/she is ready to settle down, do not give him/her a premature ultimatum. You may force them to make a decision that’s not in your favor. Only issue an ultimatum when you are done killing time and can handle the outcome whether it be good or bad.
Most importantly don’t compromise yourself in the process. Make sure the person you are waiting for is worth the wait and that you are true to yourself while killing time.
I am new to the Cocktails & Cognac bar but frequently write about sex, dating, and relationships. I would file most of my topics under a category I like to call “dating outside of the box”.
For my first time at the bar, I decided to give you guys my introductory post as a glass of Shiraz. As far as content, it is mild, but definitely an acquired taste. Just wanted to warm you guys up before I started serving shots of CallMeKarrie. : )